The Knowledgemonger Kronicles

Friday, June 6, 2008

9:17pm- Me thinks the lights should be bright above the bar. Go-go Boy laying on bar top in trunks, bartender with sunglasses.

10:00- After looking at the full frozen drink tanks, I realize that they are not frozen. I would have failed thermodynamics had I been taking it, something about the relationship of volume to temperature change, whatever.

10:20- "So, yes pumpkin" -5th Monkee

10:24- Me: I banter better with my glasses off as well.
5M: They make you ugly and weigh you down.
Me: It is part of the Superhero Dictum.

10:51- "You totally Boodled me last night."

10:59- Easy E exits box office, does up belt, then blushes. I don't ask questions.

11:17- Girl #1: Do you want chocolates?
Me: Um...okay

11:44- Guy #1: What is the percentage alcohol by volume?
Me: Well, it is approx. 1.285 oz per 10 oz drrink, so at 80 proof on the alcohol, it is about 5.14%
Guy #1: Really?
Me: Really.

12:44am- Girl #2: OMG! do those have alcohol?
Me: Yes.
Girl #2: YAY! (runs off)

1:02- Little E: I'm here to relieve you.
Me (chuckles): I'm going to go relieve myself.

1:23- Girl skips past waving one arm above head as she goes.

1:27- Shags does the "Whooo's" to "Fine" by MJB

1:35- "We only got 8 minutes to save the world."

1:37- Popped collars???....Really?

2:06- Drunk guy gives me his credit cards (3 of them), safeway card, insurance card, etc. thinking he has checked his blue jacket (which he did not). and that these items were what he needed to display to get them back.

2:40- Girl face plants in front of bar.(as lights fade to black)

After looking at my notes I realize that a Part II is not possible to occupy it's own blog. So, I am adding it on here.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

9: 42pm: I am not getting the Cowboy soft core porn

10:30- I got nothing, minus the cowboy reference...yeah after an hour and a half of work...I have nothing still

10:32- Me: What does that mean (points to Kanji symbol in tattoo)
Guy #3: knowledge
Me: Really??
Guy #3: I think so

11:36- Cowboys...not as convincing as Go-Go Boys

11:55- Coworker #1: I am totally going to sport a crutch the next time I go out.
Me: Crutch is the new black

12:10am- Guy #4: People talk when I stuff it down my pants ( hands me pocket size item to check) and I am feeling manly enough tonight
me: Are you sure? (looks down)

140 to close- Can I go? Argh! Like I said not much going on this day.

Ok, how does one respond to that? I didn't really say anything. I thought about saying "Thank you:" Then, thought the implication of the comment was that I don't look cute with them on and perhaps that the speaker was shocked about finding me attractive now that I had pulled off the ultimate in Superhero changeovers. How did he recognize me? My disguise must be flawed.

I also, contemplated the appropriate answer could have been "You look cute with my glasses off, too." That would have played well into the gay snarkiness that surrounds us and maybe have played into my comic book alter-ego role with the bantering with super-villains necessity.

Or perhaps a simple "I'm not feeling you, douchebag" That may have worked but I digress. Speaking of I'm not feeling you...if you click that link or have done so already, you are whisked away to a wonderfully humorous site to which I was introduced to by Evil K. Definitely, worth the quick read!

I have an addiction to moleskins. Not this, but these and as many of you know I am a huge fan of carrying a notebook with me to capture the general absurdity that is my daily life.

Enough for now, but next time that you compliment someone go with something that doesn't back-end an insult.

~L