The Knowledgemonger Kronicles

"Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none."-William Shakespeare, "All's Well That Ends Well", Act 1 Scene 1

What could be easier than this concept? It is almost written in process. It seems to me that people are starting to put a price tag on love. The cost of their love is that you must do whatever it is that they believe that their love is worth. It also seems to me that they have forgotten a very central concept that as price goes up, demand goes down, all other things remaining the same. So, as they put a higher price tag on their love, the demand for that love starts to dwindle until no one wants their love and instead people will seek an alternative.

Now, I know from a practicality standpoint that demand will never reach zero, but it will grow so slim that they start becoming very self-defeating. So, the price of your love is growing, can I offer to buy some of it. No? Your love is not for sale. Interesting. Well, perhaps than your love should be free. Perhaps, all love should be free.

Expressing love as a default is very simple. All it takes is loving yourself and then loving those with which you interact. Be kind to people. Offer someone something that they need if you have the means to do so. Smile at someone when you talk to them. Hug those who you think need it. Being kind is 20 times easier than being mean and at least 10 times easier than being apathetic.

Now, that you are loving people, let's get down to trust. Trust few. This is hard to do sometimes when you are loving everyone and you may and probably will get burned for trusting the wrong people. But, don't stop loving that person because you can not trust them, just know where you must hold them. Those people that you do trust, start small and work your way into trusting them as time goes by. As they trust you more, you will trust them more, etc. Just be sure that you continue to love them enough to maintain that trust.

Lastly, I get to the concept of doing wrong to none. Very simple in theory, much harder in practice. Most people that have accomplished the first two, do well on most aspects of this. but, the hardest part is "Being loyal to the absent." This concept is the idea that people gossiping about someone who is not there to defend themselves is not fair. Think about it the next time you are with a group and they start talking about the missing member. Should not someone defend that person? The answer I would say is yes, if at all possible. Being silent, sometimes, can be just as bad as being the gossip.

~L

I stopped thinking. Somewhere, somehow, I just kind of hit the "auto-pilot" button and started cruising along at a "safe" altitude. The problem with safe altitudes and cruising along is that nothing changes and nothing is learned.

For about 2 month, I stopped meaning "how are you?" when I asked someone. I became like everyone else in meaning that as a simple greeting and almost as if it is a rhetorical question with the implied answer of "fine." I became someone less. Someone...not ME. Earlier, I cried, which usually signifies a breaking point, but it could just be a need for release.

I miss feeling intimately desired. Yes, a very selfish feeling. But, it is true and not to be confused with sexually desired. I miss that series of connections, that "I will always have your back" feeling. The inside jokes. The touch, the feel. (of cotton).

So many people bring so much to me and I thank the gods for you every day. Ironically, somehow that has had both a positive and a negative effect on me as well. The positives far outweigh the negatives, which is why I made the first statement of this paragraph. It has made me desire more and I am not saying particularly from any of you, just that I know I can and have a good man and should not accept anything less. But the longing...GRRRR.

I stopped thinking long enough to ramble on in this posting. Imagine that. I don't understand myself sometimes and yet not knowing someone else drives me nuts. Absolutely bonkers. I guess that is the other edge of the knowledgemongering sword.

And there is trust. Yes, still not fully okay with it. I am always tip-toeing across the rug jsut in case someone is going to slide it out from under me. In my life thuse, far most people have faded in and out, including my mother. It makes knowing what and when to share hard sometimes.

Words of advice to future me: Everyone has their own agenda, don't assume that you know what it is, but don't be surprised when it is exactly what you thought it might be. Also, continue your patience when dealing with other people's agendas, some lessons have to be learned first hand and can not be taught, even when it is painful to watch. Continue to love as a default.

I need more solid two way conversations. More dialogue, less monologue. Internal demons can only be exercised but setting them loose.

Okay, enough of that for now. :-)