This will be the first time in years that I will not be at the Pride Parade nor the Pride Street Fest. I have to be at Town on
Saturday at 7:30 PM and I have to be at Tim McGraw at Nissan Pavilion on Sunday. This is a huge shift from the past few years, especially considering I have hosted a party on the Friday the last 2 years and Have taken a group of 10+ to the Festival for as long as I can remember.

I don't know how I really feel about it either. I have been feeling a little bit of a disconnect from most of gay society, which I believe to be a positive thing. Let me be clear, I am not feeling a disconnect from my friends that are gay, but just the everyday DC gay that I don't have the time with which to deal. I guess, being gay to me has never been my one shining point, but rather just a characteristic. I am smart, witty, logical, strategic, competitive, compassionate and gay.

My point being (wait is there a point?) is I never made it a big deal, except during this one time of year. So, perhaps it isn't such a big deal. Perhaps, being disconnected is a good thing, allowing me to deal with the absolute ridiculousness that I see every weekend. Perhaps, I am just getting old.

Will this disconnect hurt me in the long run, making it harder to find a potential partner in life? Or will it make it easier, as I become more choosy with whom I associate?

I won't go into my dreams from last night, but they did make me go...hmmmm and huh and wow! Yes, that about sums them up. But, they got me to thinking about all of this and other things going on in my life and I realize that I am happy with the path that I am on, but impatient with getting everything rocking.

Edit: the next portion added Friday, June 13, 2008

I've decided to add a list of things that I have done and such of which I am proud this year

~ I have learned to trust again.

~ I have made more than my fair share of wonderful friends.

~ I have avoided making casual acquaintances outside of the bar; not wanting to drag things on with those that don't bring anything to me or I to them.

~ Getting myself together and going back to school (I haven't started yet, but I have registered for 16 credits)

~ Biting the bullet and moving out to Manassas to help better afford the Student lifestyle.

~ Working hard as a barback to become a bartender

~ Working with my friends to foster positive relationships between us.

~ Keeping my impatience more reigned in than I have in the past.

~ Not holding on to relationships that are only there because they are familiar.

~ Forgiving and asking for forgiveness.

~ Loving more, Smiling often, Living out loud


Blogger Templates by Blog Forum